Dear Writing Project,
I feel like you ended just when it was getting good. But, I guess that’s been a theme throughout SI (re: every demo convo we’ve had), so, like, whatever. I like you anyway, and I’m cool with your unfinished ways because that makes this less of a “good bye” and more of a “until next time.” That just feels better for me.
And maybe it’s a good thing that you ended in an unfinished awesome place. I’m feeling….what’s what’s that science-y word….momentum. Yea. Momentum. The sort that is got me ready to go kick down the door and write some shit. Wait..why did I write that….I mean it’s sort-of true, but not where I was planning on going...I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in a good place, for me and my students. It’s this great mix of tired and inspired with dash of excitement about getting the know this cool new version of me that’s been forged out of the last few weeks with a really awesome group of teachers that you enabled to come together.
So, thanks for this. On a totally related note, I was having this conversation yesterday with Amanda, Gwen, Rebecca, and Alice, and it got me thinking more about why you matter so much. Amanda was talking about this wobbly spot she was experiencing...wondering how it is possible to ever feel like a good teacher when constantly being in this state of overwhelmedness (wow...no red line? that’s a word? cool!). We all talked about it, and I likely didn’t add anything helpful to the covo, but it all got me thinking.
There are a few teachers I know who aren’t wobbly and feel like they’ve got this teaching thing down. They also do the same thing every year, and hate their jobs and the students they teach. But they are the minority, and really, they aren’t that good. The majority of teachers I know are good at what they do, but they wouldn’t tell you that because they are either so defeated, burned out, insecure, or just feel so far behind that they can never catch up with all there is to be done and learned to take a breath and tell you anything about themselves. Exhale.
I think most teachers would agree that a big part of being a good teacher means that we are learners ourselves, always trying out new things, learning from our students, wobbling, remediating and remixing old lesson plans and new ideas. But we are continually in this state of trying to negotiate these feelings that drove us into teaching with forces like test-based accountability, the public perception of teachers, lack of support and collaborative space...and likely a bunch of other derailing stuff, too.
It’s complicated, I get that. And you’re awesome because you’ve got me thinking. Thinking that I’m doing on top of all sorts of other thinking about teaching. And here’s the cool part...the reason that I’m doing it, the reason that I’m writing about it, and the reason why I’m feeling like I’m getting better at not just knowing, but embracing and living the notion that I can be both a good teacher and a wobbler, is because of the space and tools that you give me, Writing Project, to work through it all.
It’s what keeps me in the classroom, what keeps me in touch with what it means to be a learner, and what guides me in designing the right sort of experiences for my students. I’m bummed that you can’t support more good teachers out there, but I’m super grateful that you supported this amazing group this year, and that I got to be a part of it.
Thank you for this awesome dose of momentum this summer and every summer that you’ve been in my life. Later for now….
Write on,
Steve
